El Shaddai children practicing trauma release technique taught by volunteers.
By Gabriel Constans
Women are offering their personal resources, time, and energy like never before. At least 59 percent of those surveyed in the U.S. in 2002 by United Way said they had volunteered or done community-service in the previous year, and those numbers have continued to rise in the past five years. Thinking about others and getting beyond our own selfish desires seems to be a trend that nobody wants to stop.
Of course people volunteer for different reasons and are moved by a variety of intentions. Some folks want to get out of a rut, keep busy, feel needed or recognized and make new friends; others to have a desire for personal growth.
Daisy Gale, a quilting instructor, mother of eight, and girls’ softball coach from Utah, says: “It doesn’t matter how much you get involved or where, just get involved. Give a little each paycheck; donate time and / or energy. You don’t have to travel overseas. Go ahead and get your hands dirty.”
Daisy and seven other women (three from San Diego) did go overseas, and joined a group doing humanitarian work in Kigali, the capital of Rwanda. They provided medical care, job education, and trauma relief for more than 400 children at El Shaddai Center for Orphans. As in the U.S., they didn’t have to take the time away from their jobs, families, and homes to lend a hand, but they did take such time, and every single one of them felt they received more than they gave. “I haven’t volunteered much in my life,” says Joanna Ransier, a nurse in her 50s. “Raising three children and going through a divorce was more than enough. I never expected this to come around.”
Dottie Webster, a 63-year-old housewife from Sedona, Arizona, smiles as she says: “We treated them [the orphans] and opened their hearts and helped them relieve some of the fears and pains. They know we care.”
This sense of giving and receiving, even in the midst of some of humanity’s worst suffering, consistently runs through these women’s thoughts. “I get a lot of satisfaction out of being able to give back,” says Caroline Sakai, a psychiatrist from Hawaii. “So many of the kids said before they felt so different and they didn’t have hope, and now they feel like they have hope.”
There are more than a million orphans in Rwanda, and countless agencies, both governmental and private, trying with food, clothing, shelter, and education to ease the impact of all this on society, but there are still thousands of children living on the streets of Rwanda or temporarily housed in government centers, only to be released back on their own after three to six months.
The children at El Shaddai are some of the lucky ones who get a home, food, clothes, medical care, some education. Upon entering the abandoned automotive warehouse that is now used for El Shaddai, the American team was greeted with exuberant music and dance by the children, teachers, and staff.
“This trip reminded me of what’s important,” says Paula Herring, a 40-year-old business-management teacher from San Diego. “Before I came I thought of the kids as having nothing and little to be thankful for, but since working at the orphanage I saw a lot of potential and a sense of hope that not only they but most Rwandan’s seem to have.”
Some problems, locally, nationally, and internationally, seem so big that people dismiss them as hopeless or impossible to solve. Feelings of helplessness and impotence in the face of such seemingly unsolvable odds can create apathy, detachment, and a turning away from the realities in the world, let alone at our front door.
And yet … the fact is that you don’t have to solve all the existing problems or end all the suffering in the world. You can look at the big picture and try to provide the maximum impact for the most people possible, but it still comes down to helping one person at a time.
Suzanne Connolly, a grandmother and therapist, also from Arizona, who was teaching trauma relief in Rwanda, says: “We try to stay in the background and train the community. The teachers are the ones who will continue to be here when we leave, not us.”
When people find ways to multiply their giving and leave tools for living, it can literally touch thousands of lives.
Most of the children at El Shaddai are survivors of the 1994 genocide and the AIDS pandemic, which together took hundreds of thousands of lives. Yet even in the aftermath of some of the worst atrocities ever perpetrated by humans upon other humans, people have found hope, renewal, and inspiration. “I think I walked into this experience with a lot of sympathy for the kids because they have so little and I, as an American, have so much,” says Kelli Barber, a young nurse from Tennessee, “and so many of the kids were dealing with trauma and shame. It didn’t take long for me to realize that they were much more than their past or their circumstances. I was really inspired by their strength, sense of community, and spirit.”
Remembering you can’t do it all is just as important when you volunteer as it is with your own job or family. No matter how clear or well- defined your intentions, you are human. Everyone has different limits, boundaries, amounts of energy, and personal resources.
Whitney Woodruff, a nurse practitioner from San Diego who was in charge of the medical team at the orphanage, says insightfully: “Working with the kids here is overwhelming. I’ve seen more children in one day then I do in a week of private practice, and [these kids] are dealing with such an array of issues. I’m so glad we’re taking a two- day break.”
All of the advice that people give to “take care of yourself” can be used when you volunteer: Give yourself breaks; know when to stop; find healthy ways to relax and rejuvenate, and be sure to pause, take a deep breath, and remember that you are just as important as those you are helping.
Whether you’re checking in on a neighbor across the street, volunteering in your community with children or youths or elders, or flying around the world to help orphaned children in Africa, just do something and be clear why you’re doing it.
Audrey Blumeneau, a teacher and mother of five, originally from Chicago, joined the women who worked at El Shaddai. She says: “I originally went to be with my husband, who was asked to contribute to the orphanage work, but once I was there I realized I had come home to a second home. I cared not because they were orphans in a land and culture I found fascinating, or because they had experienced such great loss, but because they were just like my kids. We all need the same thing … to love, be loved and remembered.”
Gabriel Constans has written for numerous magazines, newspapers and media throughout North America, Europe, Africa, and Asia. His latest book is Buddha’s Wife (Rockway Press). He has worked as a trauma specialist and counselor with local non-profits, hospitals, hospice, and international relief organizations for more than 30 years. His trip to Rwanda was precipitated when a team of specialists from the Association for Thought Field Therapy asked him to join them to treat children at El Shaddai Center for Oprhans, and teach adults from throughout Central Africa about trauma relief techniques.
